Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love is a practical relationship guide by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman that outlines eight structured dates designed to deepen intimacy
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Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love is a practical relationship guide by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman that outlines eight structured dates designed to deepen intimacy and trust. Based on 40 years of research from their "Love Lab," the book provides couples with specific conversation starters and activities to navigate critical relationship topics.
The Eight Conversations
Each chapter focuses on a specific "make-or-break" issue, guiding couples through interactive prompts to improve communication.
- Trust and Commitment: Discussing how you support each other and your level of mutual reliance.
- Addressing Conflict: Learning to manage disagreements constructively rather than just trying to "win" the argument.
- Sex and Intimacy: Exploring desires and needs to maintain a fulfilling physical and emotional connection.
- Work and Money: Focusing on your psychological relationship with security and financial values rather than just tactical budgeting.
- Family: Aligning on expectations for parenting, family involvement, and personal growth within the family unit.
- Fun and Adventure: Finding ways to inject joy and spontaneity back into the relationship.
- Spirituality: Discussing shared values, beliefs, and creating "sacred rituals" together.
- Dreams: Supporting each other’s individual aspirations and envisioning a shared future.
Expert and User Reviews
The book is widely praised by both clinicians and readers for its evidence-based yet accessible approach.
- The Psychiatry Resource: Rated the book 10 out of 10, noting it is ideal for couples at any stage and focuses on "attunement" and emotional safety.
- User Opinions: Reviewers on Amazon and Goodreads highlight that the book is highly readable and "user-friendly," with one reader noting that the planned date nights made them feel significantly more connected.
- Critical Feedback: One reviewer noted that the book is primarily directed at established couples rather than those who have just met.
In the United States,
Eight Dates
by John and Julie Gottman is widely available from major retailers in various formats.
New Copies
- Amazon: Hardcover is typically listed around $24.95 (MSRP), often discounted to ~$19.93.
- Barnes & Noble: Available for $27.00 for the hardcover edition.
- Walmart: Offers the hardcover for approximately $21.78.
- Target: Often stocks the book at MSRP, with periodic "Buy 1, Get 1 50% off" promotions on select books.
Used and Value Options
- ThriftBooks: Used hardcover copies start as low as $15.49 to $19.29, depending on condition.
- Alibris: Offers a wide range of used copies starting from $6.90 for "fair" condition up to $11.99 for "very good".
- eBay: New and pre-owned copies range from $12.97 to $30.00+ including shipping.
Digital and Audio
- Audible: Available for one credit with a subscription (starting at $14.95/month) or for direct purchase.
- Kindle: The eBook is frequently priced at $4.99 on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.
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